When bad things happen it’s a natural tendency for most people to want to wallow in despair, self-pity, and self-doubt. It makes us want to crawl in bed with the covers up and do nothing. But listen up! That’s not the way we should handle setbacks.

Sit up straight. Get out of bed now! Don’t give in.

Despair is a useless emotion that will just drain all your energy and drag you into a deep dark pit where it’s hard to find your way and get out of. That’s not where you want to go. Giving in to the emotion despair makes you realize how hopeless things are and how bleak your future is. And we need to turn that around NOW!

How do you combat despair? Take action. In fact, take massive positive action. When you get the ball rolling and start planting more seeds you’ll see results trickle in. These results will make you smile because it tells you that there is hope. And hope is previous; it keeps us going no matter what situation we’re in.

The first thing you should do is grab a pen and a notebook. Write down a list of positive things in your life. Now write another list of the positive things you can see that will result because of a certain negative event in your life. These two lists will make you smile every time you feel down and out. It will cheer you up and keep despair at bay. Post it on the refrigerator or in front of your computer so you can see the good in your life. Say a quick prayer and thank God for all these positives he has given you.

Now if you’ve had a tragic event in your life, write down solutions you can take to make it better. If you’ve lost a job, brainstorm ways to earn money and get the income you need. Don’t automatically jump into another job, what are the other options. Keep your mind open and keep the ideas flowing. Don’t stop writing. Is there a special talent you have that can earn you income? What about a business? If it’s another event, brainstorm how you can tackle it and make it better or change it. We all have the power to change. If we don’t like something, then go change it. Don’t whine about it.

Another way to come up with ideas to get yourself out of a mess is to brainstorm with a few close friends or your family. Several heads are better than one.

Now take a break from all that mental labor and do something that will get your mind off of your problems. Go hiking, garden, go play paintball, swim, jog, etc. You need to have a clear mind and dwelling on problems will only make them worse. Being physically active helps relieve stress and makes us forget our problems for a while.

You should focus on one do-able solution and make your mind think about that solution. What I do is I hold the solution to the top of my head and make my thoughts center around it. Whatever we think about will become a reality. Think about the solution, not the problem. This is so important. Let me repeat it for you. Think about the solution, not the problem.

Now that you have the solution in front of you find ways to make that solution work and make it happen. If you need $2-3k in 30 days brainstorm another list of how and what you need to do to get that money in your hands in 30 days. If you need a wife in 30 days, write down how you’re going to get the woman of your dreams and propose to her within 30 days. That second one should be a fun goal for you fellas.

Break your goal down into little steps such as what you need to do specifically each day to accomplish this. Break it down to every hour if you have to. Do whatever works for you; what’s important is you need to make it so that your mind will fully believe that this is possible. If you can’t make yourself believe that you can do this then forget about it. The whole thing will not work for you. Faith and Belief are key ingredients in this exercise. Trust that it will all work out even if you don’t have the exact details figured out yet.

Work on your solution every day. Think about your solution every day and night, and even in your sleep. Think about nothing else. Keep that focus and work steadily towards it. I had a friend who did not make more than $5k a month in his sales career with his company. When he followed these exact steps he made $4,999.57, that’s less than a dollar off. He was so excited that he told his wife, and she gave him the extra dollar before midnight of the deadline of this goal. I know it sounds unbelievable but when my friend stopped focusing on a goal the next few months his income when back to the range that it had been previously which was around $2k a month.

Remember to not have any doubt in your mind or despair during this time period or you’ll have to start all over again. Having doubt, despair, sadness, hopelessness or any of the negative emotions inside of you destroys the positive emotions and makes you powerless to realize your goals and dreams. Keep your head up and keep going.

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